Psalm 127:2
"In vain you rise early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat— for he grants sleep to those he loves."
I loved the devotional that went along with this:
"God is not against human effort. Hard work honors God. But working to the exclusion of rest or to the neglect of family may be a cover-up for an inability to trust God to provide for our needs. We all need adequate rest and times of spiritual refreshment. On the other hand, this verse is not an excuse to be lazy. Be careful to maintain a balance: work while trusting God, and also rest while trusting him."
We work and work and work, trying to provide for ourselves. And we work and exhaust ourselves to the exclusion of Christ. We do this for several reasons:
1) we think we have to provide for ourselves, alone, or that God won't provide everything we need.
2) we think we are essential - that work won't get done if we don't do it ourselves. By the way, you Martha's out there (of which I am one too), this applies not only to work, but to our family and church activities.
3) we seek to be exhausted and busy because of the distraction that it provides. If we're too tired and or busy, then we think we don't miss or notice that God-sized whole so much.
All of these lead to exhaustion, often hopelessness. This is a symptom of our priorities not being aligned with His.
Even when we toil at God's work, why are we destroying ourselves? Is it for Him, and we do this out of sacrificial devotion? Or, more likely, are we killing ourselves because one of the reasons above? Or maybe were not trying to please God, but we're trying to please those we work with. We think that we must earn the respect of our peers and coworkers by pushing ourselves so hard. Part of me does take pride in the fact that I'm often the first one in the office, and the last one out. Pat of me wants to be known as someone who really pushes themselves, expects more from themselves.
But I know when I am exhausted at the end of the work day, the first thing I want to do is not pray, read my Bible, or meditate on God's word. It's usually along the lines of feeding my face and watching Hulu. And the more I tire myself at work, the more I want to stuff myself with chips and tv. It's like I seek to achieve balance not by taking things away, but by overloading my plate until I'm equally extreme in everything I'm doing.
God wants us to have balance. He doesn't want us so exhausted we cant worship Him or enjoy the things He's put on earth for us to enjoy. What reason are we using to exhaust ourselves? What part of our day are we not leaving to God to provide for us on?
It's my prayer for myself that I find this balance. When I'm exhausted I can only focus on myself and how to relieve that exhaustion. I can't focus focus on others and that's a problem. I hate myself for not being more focused on others, which in turn makes it harder for me to pour out love on others if I can't love myself as well.
The question is this: are we too exhausted to love?
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Psalm 119:123
Psalm 119:123
"My eyes strain to see your rescue, to see the truth of your promise fulfilled."
This is us as mentors and leaders, & I feel us especially at hopewell as we pray for God to be at work in the lives of our young people - even as we watch them exit the safe doors of the detention facility to the scary real world beyond. We desperately want to see for ourselves Gods positive impact on their lives - I know for myself, I selfishly want to know that what I have done has not been in vain & that I have added some value to their lives. But the danger is for us to strain to see Gods work even when it may not be Him working, and seeing maturity in the youth that's not there. Or for us to get discouraged when we think we see nothing.
We need to be satisfied with the fact that we may only be blessed to have the privilege to plant the seed in this youth, & trust that God will provide to our young ones those that will water and feed them into maturity & strength.
Remember that it is the tree that takes many, many years to mature is the tree that will live long and endure. Those trees that grow quickly also lack the support to stay and become rooted in the word - and thus are quickly uprooted when their secular foundation falls apart.
We strain our eyes not to see just growth and progress - but to see the truth of God's promise revealed in the lives of these young people. Meditate on what this difference of progress & Gods truth looks like.
"My eyes strain to see your rescue, to see the truth of your promise fulfilled."
This is us as mentors and leaders, & I feel us especially at hopewell as we pray for God to be at work in the lives of our young people - even as we watch them exit the safe doors of the detention facility to the scary real world beyond. We desperately want to see for ourselves Gods positive impact on their lives - I know for myself, I selfishly want to know that what I have done has not been in vain & that I have added some value to their lives. But the danger is for us to strain to see Gods work even when it may not be Him working, and seeing maturity in the youth that's not there. Or for us to get discouraged when we think we see nothing.
We need to be satisfied with the fact that we may only be blessed to have the privilege to plant the seed in this youth, & trust that God will provide to our young ones those that will water and feed them into maturity & strength.
Remember that it is the tree that takes many, many years to mature is the tree that will live long and endure. Those trees that grow quickly also lack the support to stay and become rooted in the word - and thus are quickly uprooted when their secular foundation falls apart.
We strain our eyes not to see just growth and progress - but to see the truth of God's promise revealed in the lives of these young people. Meditate on what this difference of progress & Gods truth looks like.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
26.2
So I hope you know by now that I have a pretty crazy story.
Please help me continue to write it and share it.
I'm running the 2011 Marine Corps Marathon on October 30. Just under a year after open-heart surgery. I want to celebrate this by running the 26.2 for the Semper Fi Fund: join me?? If you've got a better excuse than I do to NOT run a marathon, then please consider donating. If you don't have a better excuse than I do to not run a marathon, consider donating. :)
http://www.active.com/donate/semperfifundmcm2011/fundTAshley
It's my prayer that throughout all of this I can be bold and consistent in giving the glory to God and using it as an opportunity to boldly declare how sweet He is, and how good He is to me, and to you.
Please help me continue to write it and share it.
I'm running the 2011 Marine Corps Marathon on October 30. Just under a year after open-heart surgery. I want to celebrate this by running the 26.2 for the Semper Fi Fund: join me?? If you've got a better excuse than I do to NOT run a marathon, then please consider donating. If you don't have a better excuse than I do to not run a marathon, consider donating. :)
http://www.active.com/donate/semperfifundmcm2011/fundTAshley
It's my prayer that throughout all of this I can be bold and consistent in giving the glory to God and using it as an opportunity to boldly declare how sweet He is, and how good He is to me, and to you.
Lessons (not) learned
I wish I could say I've found something really profound to share. I guess the profound thing is the lack of profoundness? Um, let me explain that one.
As I have found myself more physically able to pick up my insane schedule again, I have found myself focusing less and less on God, less intentional about devotions. And what have I learned? Nothing! That's my point exactly.
When we take away our focus from the one who we should be glorifying, we often end up glorifying ourselves instead. And we know how that ends up: it's like building our foundation on sand instead of the bedrock it should be on. It only takes one little event to knock everything you've carefully–but foolishly–constructed to come tumbling down.
I confess to having been extremely consumed with running lately. I would intentionally use it as a time of worship, but I admit I've been distracted on my runs. My goal with running has always been as something that is part of a balanced, healthy lifestyle, sort of like a healthy prescription (runners know it can totally be like a drug, and addicting!). I wanted to be running and training in a way I could keep up my whole life. Have I always achieved that goal? Not so much. This time around, I thought it would be BRILLIANT of me to change up my stride two weeks before a race (despite frequent advice from my =PR= Running coach to never try anything new right before a race). I was faster, it felt more comfortable...right up until I couldn't walk. Race day, instead of it being a glorious debut, I was in pain the entire time. The heart was AWESOME, and stayed in a comfortable zone the entire 10-miler. Instead, I literally limped along for 10 miles at a 12:24 pace - a minute behind my last long run.
If I were to look at this with a me-perspective, I am tempted to be disappointed and frustrated. But I am determined to keep this race in perspective with all that God has blessed me with, especially over the past 5 months. It's amazing (and quite humbling) that 5 months after open-heart surgery I race 10 miles, even more so that the trouble that bothers me race day isn't the heart, but a stupid left hip I injured due to my pride. It's also promising.. which I think is a weird word to use considering I'm injured and my 'short-term' outlook isn't sunny. But it's promising in the sense that He's given me a big, healthy heart and the ability to run again.
It really is a GIFT to be running again, and the only one who can take that away is me - through trying to run on my own, and not by His grace.
"Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1
As I have found myself more physically able to pick up my insane schedule again, I have found myself focusing less and less on God, less intentional about devotions. And what have I learned? Nothing! That's my point exactly.
When we take away our focus from the one who we should be glorifying, we often end up glorifying ourselves instead. And we know how that ends up: it's like building our foundation on sand instead of the bedrock it should be on. It only takes one little event to knock everything you've carefully–but foolishly–constructed to come tumbling down.
I confess to having been extremely consumed with running lately. I would intentionally use it as a time of worship, but I admit I've been distracted on my runs. My goal with running has always been as something that is part of a balanced, healthy lifestyle, sort of like a healthy prescription (runners know it can totally be like a drug, and addicting!). I wanted to be running and training in a way I could keep up my whole life. Have I always achieved that goal? Not so much. This time around, I thought it would be BRILLIANT of me to change up my stride two weeks before a race (despite frequent advice from my =PR= Running coach to never try anything new right before a race). I was faster, it felt more comfortable...right up until I couldn't walk. Race day, instead of it being a glorious debut, I was in pain the entire time. The heart was AWESOME, and stayed in a comfortable zone the entire 10-miler. Instead, I literally limped along for 10 miles at a 12:24 pace - a minute behind my last long run.
If I were to look at this with a me-perspective, I am tempted to be disappointed and frustrated. But I am determined to keep this race in perspective with all that God has blessed me with, especially over the past 5 months. It's amazing (and quite humbling) that 5 months after open-heart surgery I race 10 miles, even more so that the trouble that bothers me race day isn't the heart, but a stupid left hip I injured due to my pride. It's also promising.. which I think is a weird word to use considering I'm injured and my 'short-term' outlook isn't sunny. But it's promising in the sense that He's given me a big, healthy heart and the ability to run again.
It really is a GIFT to be running again, and the only one who can take that away is me - through trying to run on my own, and not by His grace.
"Not to us, O LORD, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness." Psalm 115:1
Friday, March 25, 2011
Born to Run
I am so blessed to be running again. One reason I'm thankful for that is that I've got that time where I am alone, and alone with God in a way that could never be duplicated throughout the rest of my day. For someone who is constantly moving (and perpetually running late), having some built-in time where I am really alone and able to focus is precious. For six months this has been gone, but now I've got this way to worship back, thank God!
During these moments I've had some dates and numbers in my mind:
- Thanksgiving 2009, first 5k, and where I caught this running bug..
- February 2010, 1st half marathon (~3:03)
- May 2010, 2nd half marathon (~2:47)
- September 2010, 3rd half marathon (~2:27) (and the last time I was allowed to run)
- November 9, 2010, heart surgery
- January 31, 2011, first day of running with the Surgeon's blessing!
(- January 10, 2011 'illegally' ran my first mile)
- April 3, 2011 Cherry Blossom 10 miler
- September 2011, half marathon
- October 2011 MARINE CORP MARATHON
It's been almost 20 weeks since heart surgery. I've been able to run about 50 miles during the month of February. I'll have run about 70 in March. I'm getting stronger and faster, and able to run farther every week. I'm just in awe of all of it. I can't stress enough what a gift it is to just be able to run again. I've said it before, it makes feel me invincible to have been through everything and yet still be able to run. I know it's not me who's invincible, but God who's given me the strength to do everything. "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:26).
As I keep running, I'm trying to keep in mind what all these heart surgery adventures have taught me. I think they're still teaching me.
During these moments I've had some dates and numbers in my mind:
- Thanksgiving 2009, first 5k, and where I caught this running bug..
- February 2010, 1st half marathon (~3:03)
- May 2010, 2nd half marathon (~2:47)
- September 2010, 3rd half marathon (~2:27) (and the last time I was allowed to run)
- November 9, 2010, heart surgery
- January 31, 2011, first day of running with the Surgeon's blessing!
(- January 10, 2011 'illegally' ran my first mile)
- April 3, 2011 Cherry Blossom 10 miler
- September 2011, half marathon
- October 2011 MARINE CORP MARATHON
It's been almost 20 weeks since heart surgery. I've been able to run about 50 miles during the month of February. I'll have run about 70 in March. I'm getting stronger and faster, and able to run farther every week. I'm just in awe of all of it. I can't stress enough what a gift it is to just be able to run again. I've said it before, it makes feel me invincible to have been through everything and yet still be able to run. I know it's not me who's invincible, but God who's given me the strength to do everything. "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" (Psalm 73:26).
As I keep running, I'm trying to keep in mind what all these heart surgery adventures have taught me. I think they're still teaching me.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Worship Like This - part 1
In the last moments Jesus spent on earth with his disciples, he tells them this:
"'This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.'
When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God." Luke 24:46-53
There is so much in this passage... and over the next several posts, I would like to really work through all of it. But to start, I want to focus on the worship.
Place yourself in the shoes of these disciples: you've been through great grief over the past three days. The person you've followed for three years has been brutally, senselessly crucified. And Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you were without hope. But then, Sunday he finally reveals himself to you - he is alive! "Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?" (Luke 24:26) In these glorious moments reunited with your Savior he speaks to you, promising you power from on high, blessing you. And then he's taken back up into heaven.
THIS is the stage on which the disciples worshiped.
Each of us should worship as these disciples did on that night. Each of us should worship as if we've seen and touched the risen Christ. Each of us should worship as if we've seen him ascend into heaven ourselves. Just close your eyes and imagine this scene set in the end of Luke. It's breath-taking to place ourselves in the disciples shoes and imagine the raw power and glory they witnessed. How real Christ was to these people! Because this great joy that they had, it's ours too. The promises, the blessings they received, these are also ours. Jesus is just as present in our lives as he was in theirs.
"Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him," (Luke 24:31a). Have your eyes been opened to how Christ works in your life? Can you recognize Christ in your life? Is he real to you? When Christ becomes as real to you as he was to the disciples, you can begin to worship as the disciples did.
"'This is what is written: The Christ will suffer and rise from the dead on the third day, and repentance and forgiveness of sins will be preached in his name to all nations, beginning at Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things. I am going to send you what my Father has promised; but stay in the city until you have been clothed with power from on high.'
When he had led them out to the vicinity of Bethany, he lifted up his hands and blessed them. While he was blessing them, he left them and was taken up into heaven. Then they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy. And they stayed continually at the temple, praising God." Luke 24:46-53
There is so much in this passage... and over the next several posts, I would like to really work through all of it. But to start, I want to focus on the worship.
Place yourself in the shoes of these disciples: you've been through great grief over the past three days. The person you've followed for three years has been brutally, senselessly crucified. And Friday, Saturday, Sunday, you were without hope. But then, Sunday he finally reveals himself to you - he is alive! "Did not the Christ have to suffer these things and then enter his glory?" (Luke 24:26) In these glorious moments reunited with your Savior he speaks to you, promising you power from on high, blessing you. And then he's taken back up into heaven.
THIS is the stage on which the disciples worshiped.
Each of us should worship as these disciples did on that night. Each of us should worship as if we've seen and touched the risen Christ. Each of us should worship as if we've seen him ascend into heaven ourselves. Just close your eyes and imagine this scene set in the end of Luke. It's breath-taking to place ourselves in the disciples shoes and imagine the raw power and glory they witnessed. How real Christ was to these people! Because this great joy that they had, it's ours too. The promises, the blessings they received, these are also ours. Jesus is just as present in our lives as he was in theirs.
"Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him," (Luke 24:31a). Have your eyes been opened to how Christ works in your life? Can you recognize Christ in your life? Is he real to you? When Christ becomes as real to you as he was to the disciples, you can begin to worship as the disciples did.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Vision Casting
What follows is part of an email from a church called Relevant that I follow in Tampa, Florida. Watching them grow over the years has been amazing - and recently they've taken a big step: moving from having Sunday services in the upstairs of a club to having their own building, their own church. It's a huge time of growth for them. The email below is the weekly update from their pastor, Paul Wirth. He wraps up so perfectly what we're trying to do now for Hopewell, so I'm shamelessly stealing:
"I hope that all of you have had a productive and enjoyable week. For me, this has been one of those weeks that I am sure I will look back on for years to come and say that was the week everything changed. This week me, Carl, and Jamie went away for a few days to pray and plan for the future of Relevant and all I can say is that God showed up in a huge way. We were just trying to get away to get our heads above water so to speak and by the time we were finished I felt like I was walking on water.
I believe that God has some huge things in store for each one of us and I believe that His plans include everyone of us. So I just want you to begin now praying this prayer: "God whatever it is that you are about to reveal to me, help me to have the faith to believe it and the determination to do it" I am going to begin to pray this prayer everyday in anticipation that as we seek God and believe Him for great things that He is going to reveal for each of us individually what it is that he has in store for us. And I would like for you to prayer for me that God would help me to clearly cast the vision that He has for us both corporately and individually."
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