Monday, August 9, 2010

from the top

I don't know about you. But I'm one of these types of people who wants to do about a million different things. There's always a bunch of thoughts running through my head: things I want to do, places I want to go, ah-ha moments that I need to write down before I forget them. So maybe I can do a little of all of that here.

Let's focus on the crazy of crazy/faith for a moment.

Less than a month ago, I took an amazing vacation cruise through the Caribbean. What made it amazing was that I met a person there who blew my mind. He was one of these types that really get you to open up and think about what you're doing with your life. I was able to talk with him about my faith - the same faith I had put on a shelf about a year ago.

I came back from that trip feeling completely unsatisfied with the person I was at home. I realized that my job was my entire focus and purpose. Now that I had let faith back in my heart, I realized how unsatisfying it was to not be doing something that really mattered or touched people. I realized how scared I was that my life had become so empty, boring, and predictable. I'm only 24, and yet I've been presented with a 20-year plan at work. I'm terrified to feel like I'm on train tracks - if I keep doing what I'm doing now, I know exactly where I'm going to be in 20 years and it scares the crap out of me.

In short, I desperately crave change and adventure. Life and work here are unsatisfying, yes, but it's also what I know: it's comfortable and safe. If I want the change I so crave, I need to dig deep down, and reach way up to find out where my crazy faith is. Venturing off into the unknown is scary business, and it's only possible with my Lord Jesus. Who else will point me in the right direction, pick me up when I fall down, and provide for me? Too often we try to be our own God and decide what we should do or be without asking him. Or we try to rely on conventions of man to provide for us, like jobs, health insurance, etc.

Here is the crazy/faith: Rely on God. Go jump down the stairs, knowing that He's going to catch you. Go off and help somebody when it's inconvenient or dangerous, knowing that he's going provide for you and keep you safe. Go drive somewhere without a map or directions, knowing that God provides the tools and signs, and will work out the details.

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